Family Feud

It BITES when two of your sisters are super angry with each other. Like, cage match angry. It is especially hard when you have a bit of an honest streak, like me, and you can't help but see both sides AND think that they are both being immature, even though their reasons for being upset are valid. It just sucks and I hope that they can work it out sooner rather than later. I love you BOTH. Now get over it please.

Also, I just spellchecked this post and I had not misspellings. Fancy!

High Maintenance

I have had a migraine for about a week and a half. If you have never had a migraine for that long then you have no clue how it hurts. If you have, then my heart goes out to you. Having a pain issue sucks. It has caused a lot of problems in my life. I have lots of trials that I could have been happy without. But it has forced me to learn who I am and who I want to be. It has forced me to realize that those two "me's" aren't always in synch with one another. It has taught me who my true friends are because there are those that just can't accept an illness that hasn't got any visual precursers, unless you count how dismal I look as I try to deal with the pain. I am a high maintenance friend, I suppose. I won't always be able to follow through with plans, no matter how much I want to. In the summer my pain gets worse. I am affected by the heat. I understand if these are things that just don't fit into your lives. But please don't mistake my understanding for an apology. I am not my illness but it is something that I have to deal with and something that you will have to accept in order to be in my life. I just don't have the energy to pedal around it anymore. I have fibromyalgia. I am in pain. A lot of the time. I am trying to live without daily prescription pain killers. That is a choice I have made that makes me physically uncomfortable but it is the right choice for me overall. This doesn't mean that I will never take pain killers again. If I need a shot for pain in the ER and if I need a few pain killers to help my body recuperate then I will take them. Pain pills have a place and a purpose. I just don't want to be on them every minute of every day. I realize this is a rant but I am in a lot of pain and I am sick and tired of feeling guilty about it or that I am inconveniencing others. I am just going to take care of myself from now on. If you get it, great. If not, well I can direct you toward some great reading material and fibro sources so you can understand better. I don't have the energy to explain it any further.

And We're Back...

WOW! A one week trip to Tucson is NOT ENOUGH TIME. I didn't get to see Taylor or Dylan. I missed Heather and Karina and I only saw Casie for about two minutes. Myke and Bry had to take an emergency trip to Reno which cut short my Turner-time. It was great to see my family but I didn't get to be with them nearly enough.

Baby news...

Mariah - FREAKING AWESOME! She is so smart and so sassy and she thinks she is the Momma of all the cousins because she is the oldest. She is a mini-Jen so, obviously, she is marked for greatness.

Ryleigh - Ry-bug was as crazy and pretty as ever. I didn't get to see her as much because she had to leave town but every time she called me 'Auntie Jen' my heart-broke a little. She is a very good cuddler and she can be so sweet...

Isabelle - Bisa is intensely gorgeous. She looks like a little beach pixie. She has those crazy huge cat eyes and her teeny button nose. Combine those with her long sun-bleached hair and she should probably have mermaid fins and a rock to sing on.

Wynter - Wynnie-bug was the smallest and the most reserved of the Tucson babies. She has the most adorable corkscrew curls that dangle at the base of her baby neck and she has Becca's gigantic eyes. She makes hilarious old man faces and talks in such a sweet, little husky voice that you just want to kiss her little cheeks constantly.

Jett - Baby Airplane has basically done a personality 180 since I left. He was smiling almost constantly and he let someone besides Mykel hold him. He was adorable and walking all over the place!

Braydon - Baby Beto was SOOO happy. He is a chunk and his hair is still as black and as full as the day he was born. I got him to smile when he saw me by making funny faces but Jeremy is definitely his favorite person in the world. Beto was not afraid of people and he let us hold him right away, unlike Wynter who took almost the whole trip to warm up to me.

Everyone Else...

I got to do some vegging with Mykel, but not nearly as much as we had planned on. We watched some Vampire Diaries she had TiVoed (sweet!). I got to see Jackie and Joey's new house which is AMAZING. Plus Jackie bought me El Molinito's so I owe her my first born child. Worth it. I got to hang out with Rachel and Sims with the added bonus of seeing Lani and Cruz. Rachel got me some Eegees so that was awesome too. I got a little crackfish time in with Cassafrass. I stayed with Michelle and we had late night conversations and watched Zombieland and Four Christmases both of which were surprisingly funny. And, of course, I got to see the rest of my family... Mom and Dad were hard to pin down, Tab was good about tagging along wherever we went, I saw Nick, Chris and Jeremy here and there. Becca was around and Ang came home on Thursday. I got to see both Grammas and Uncle Robert. It still felt too rushed, though. A few hours with your loved ones is just not satisfying. I cried A LOT on the last day, especially around Mariah who just tugs at my heartstrings.

I am glad I got to go. It is worth all the achiness I now feel from the humidity and the long drive. I will be in bed A LOT this week but I wouldn't trade it for a year of healthy weeks. I will never, ever take ten months to go home for a visit again. Three months is my max. I don't even think I will make that long.

I Never Thought I Would Say This But...

I MISS TUCSON!

Well, I miss my family and friends. And real Mexican food. And by "real" I mean from El Molinitos or Guadalajara Grill. Or Annie's frijoles and tortillas.

But mostly I miss my family. So I am very, very, VERY thrilled to be going to see them soon. I am going to make Mariah hang out with me constantly. Like, she will go wherever I go. Even if she doesn't want to. It's not kidnapping if you are the Auntie.

I'm Not Normal!

You have to imagine Rachel Dratch (from SNL) sitting in a tree, pretending to be Elizabeth Taylor with another comedian pretending to be Michael Jackson for the full hilarity of this blog's title to hit you. Or you have to be Jackie, who was watching that episode too.

I am a weird person. I have always known that I was "unique" and "quirky" but, I am ready to face it, I am just plain WEIRD. I am not saying it's a negative. It just is what it is. And it is odd.

*I like weird books and I read WAY more than is probably considered "healthy." And by weird I mean serial killer/murder mystery/crazy witch/vampire/scary stuff. I love it. I started reading Stephen King when I was 8. I'm a freak.

*I would rather be really cold than have to deal with being the slightest bit warm.

*I am happy to stare at bodies of water for hours.

*I wish I could be a mermaid - I am not kidding.

*I am terrified of being in a plane crash, I HATE taking off but I love having a window seat so I can stare at the clouds and the land below while I am way up high.

*I believe that I will be a published author someday despite the fact that I have yet to complete even one of the 30+ manuscripts I have on file.

*I am 27 and I am not married or anywhere near it and, gasp, I don't care. This is normal for most 27 year olds but for my specific "culture" it is pretty much old maid/spinster territory. Especially the not caring part. I used to care but now, eh, I tried the settling thing. It's not for me.

*I have a hobby that can best be described as Name Collecting. I collect names. I write them down over and over. I don't know why or where it came from but I have ALWAYS loved names. I named all of my Barbies and all of my stuffed animals. Sometimes more than once. I have some really abnormal names picked out for my kids. And I will not put them down because I don't want them to be stolen. I like to be different, can't you tell?

*I know that my eyes are technically hazel but I still call them green.

*I am short and I don't want to be tall. I am pale and I don't want to be tan. I like my glasses and think I might never get contacts or Lasik. I do want to lose weight, I am not one of those happy to be chunky people, but other than that I quite enjoy my visible otherness.

*I read Tolstoy and Us Weekly because I like seeing that being beautiful and rich doesn't make you normal! Maybe when I am beautiful and rich my weirdness will fit in better!

What makes you weird? Come on, throw me a bone people! I know you only have one or two peccadilloes (good for you!) but you can share at least one of them with your freak friend Jen, can't you?

Ode to the Villians...

Villians are what make the heroes so great. Without a truly notable villian you just have an arrogant do-gooder. Harry Potter minus Voldemort? Whiney teenager! Othello minus Iago? Paranoid schizophrenic! Right? I don't quite know what happened in my childhood to skew my sympathies toward the baddies so but, hey, someone has to be in their corner, right? My favorite villians are...

Iago (OTHELLO)
Tom Riddle/Voldermort (HARRY POTTER SERIES)

The Pale Man (PAN'S LABYRINTH)

Capitan (PAN'S LABYRINTH)

Jarett (LABYRINTH)
Tom Ridley (THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY)
Sue Sylvester (GLEE)
The Phantom (THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA)
Annie Wilkes (MISERY)
Willoughby (SENSE AND SENSIBILITY)
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (STAR WARS - if Star Wars had been written well)
Hades (HERCULES)
Frollo (THE HUNCHMACK OF NOTRE DAME)
Javert (LES MISERABLES)
Scar (THE LION KING)
Tybalt, King of Cats (ROMEO AND JULIET)

The Host...

It pains me to admit this. It really and truly does. But I just reread The Host and I must admit that I love it. LOVE IT. It is a book that I know I will reread again and again. It is hard for my to comprehend that the same person that wrote the Twilight books could write such a poignant and heart wrenching story that is basically about what it means to be human and what it is to struggle as a soul that is inextricably linked to a physical body. It is so amazing and the Twilight books are so stupid. Entertaining but dumb.

Stephenie Meyer tends to be fairly long winded and at points she is a little too repetitive but she has a gift for creating characters that have compelling and complex relationships. It is these relationships that serve as the momentum for her stories. Her plots tend to be anti-climactic and/or somewhat lacking but they aren't really the point when it comes to reading her books. She has a way of writing the with heartbreaking precision that pain and the pleasure of love and hate. As someone who is LDS I can also see a lot of religious themes in her writing and, while she is not on par with him, she definitely has a touch of the C.S. Lewis ability to both celebrate the spiritual without beating us over the head with it.

I guess this means I no longer hate Stephenie Meyer. As a matter of fact I rather admire her persistence in expanding technically and creatively. After the success of the Twilight series she could have easily just gone on to write whatever cheesy drivel she came up with. And people would have gobbled it up. Instead she took a decidedly sharp turn and challenged herself to do better. And she succeeded. As a writer myself I find that to be severely respectable.

She still needs help with the names though. Renesmee? Wanda? Wanderer I can deal with but Wanda? Eh. I guess I shouldn't complain. One of my main characters is named Enzo. But that is a cool weird name. Oh and her cousin's name is Aloha. Whatever... it's not up to me. Their names are their names.