It has been six months since I moved away from the desert. I was listening to a Fiona Apple song today (Better Version of Me) that I used to listen to and feel excited about because it helped me to envision the life I wanted. Listening to it today brought about a lot of the same feelings and I felt both proud and disappointed because I have made some things a reality and others still feel far away. I suppose that is just the way life will always be. I can't imagine a life with no hope and in order to have hope you must have something to hope for, right?
I love my job. It can be dull but I do love it. I am good at it. I recently got a raise (out of the blue) and my boss told me that getting me to full-time was his priority. Today I was given a really big project. It is a huge responsibility and I am nervous about it but also thrilled to have been trusted with it. It is an amazing feeling to know that you are an appreciated member of a team you believe in. This is a part of life that I hadn't ever dared hope for. I thought I'd get a job to pay my bills and be able to write on the side. I never thought I would enjoy my job or that I'd get paid to write all day long.
I love my ward. I have made some fantastic friends that I expect to be in my life from this point on. My ward is very quirky and eclectic but so am I. We have a wide range of ages and personalities and it is just the most awesome place to go and feel the Spirit. I have no doubt that I am meant to be a part of this ward and that I meant to know all the people that I know at this time.
I love my Drapers. They have been so generous in letting me stay with them and eat with them and drive their cars when I need to. I know it is not easy and I know that it can't go on forever but I am so grateful that they love the Lord and me enough to have been so open and supportive with me from the beginning of all of this.
I love my Mom and Dad. They are always available to listen to my nervous breakdowns or send me some money when I am sick for two weeks and have a pathetic check because of it. No one deserved to be loved as much as I am. I know I don't deserve it but I am more than willing to take it.
Things are going well. My goals for the next 6 months are to get my own car and finish the first draft of Betwixt. I may also be moving out but we shall see.
I love my job. It can be dull but I do love it. I am good at it. I recently got a raise (out of the blue) and my boss told me that getting me to full-time was his priority. Today I was given a really big project. It is a huge responsibility and I am nervous about it but also thrilled to have been trusted with it. It is an amazing feeling to know that you are an appreciated member of a team you believe in. This is a part of life that I hadn't ever dared hope for. I thought I'd get a job to pay my bills and be able to write on the side. I never thought I would enjoy my job or that I'd get paid to write all day long.
I love my ward. I have made some fantastic friends that I expect to be in my life from this point on. My ward is very quirky and eclectic but so am I. We have a wide range of ages and personalities and it is just the most awesome place to go and feel the Spirit. I have no doubt that I am meant to be a part of this ward and that I meant to know all the people that I know at this time.
I love my Drapers. They have been so generous in letting me stay with them and eat with them and drive their cars when I need to. I know it is not easy and I know that it can't go on forever but I am so grateful that they love the Lord and me enough to have been so open and supportive with me from the beginning of all of this.
I love my Mom and Dad. They are always available to listen to my nervous breakdowns or send me some money when I am sick for two weeks and have a pathetic check because of it. No one deserved to be loved as much as I am. I know I don't deserve it but I am more than willing to take it.
Things are going well. My goals for the next 6 months are to get my own car and finish the first draft of Betwixt. I may also be moving out but we shall see.
peter pan would roll over in his grave, if he ever got there. look at you, making your dreams in real life come true.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you, Jen. I've been thinking about you a lot lately and thinking about how awesome it is that you are doing all of the things you are doing, and that you are moving forward with your life. I love my JenBabe!
ReplyDelete