The FAT KID Exposed!

I don't generally like to discuss how hungry I am or how much I love food or anything in the realm of aforementioned topics because I feel that it only adds to the notion that I am a fat kid. Because it does and I am. Now before you get all politically correct on me or ply me with compliments because you are worried about my self-esteem let me explain what I define being a "fat kid" as.

FAT KID: Someone who has an obsession with food/snacks/sweets/junk food/health food/fruit/vegetables/even those nasty chocolate covered insects that some people eat, regardless of weight, age, or height.

Okay? So stop punching me when I call your child/wife/mother a "fat kid." I don't mean literally fat. I just mean she likes food more than oxygen! Can I get a witness?

Anyway, today my fat kid-edness is two fold. You see, sometimes my inner fat kid only wants one specific thing. This morning it was peanut butter cookies. So I enjoyed hot chocolate and peanut butter cookies as I went about my correspondence (that's what I call the time I waste on facebook). Unfortunately my inner fat kid was so contented with my pseudo-breakfast that it went to sleep and didn't have the brains to wake up until I was already at work! That's where part two of my fat kid tendencies came alive. Do you know what is embarrassing on your third day at a new job? When you are one of two writers in an office and your stomach is trying to audition for American Idol. I couldn't even hope that Ben thought it was someone else!

Now I am having a fat kid meltdown. I am so hungry that I can't decide what to eat and it makes me angry which makes me more hungry and I don't want to cook and I don't want to spend money... it's an endless fat kid cycle.

An endless fat kid cycle.

HAPPILY EMPLOYED...

Who would have thought that I, yes I, the only and only lazy McLaz-erson, would actually enjoy work and look forward to going in the next day? Not I. Not I. One of my favorite people, Miss RayRay Vega, taught me that things are more meaningful if you say them twice in a row.

Anyway, I am so happy to have a job that I actually like and (I think) I am good at. Hey, this is NEW gloating. You see, until today, I wasn't SURE that I liked the job, I just assumed/hoped I would. Now I know. It's the kind of job where I forget to look at the clock and all of a sudden it's time to leave. Awesome.

Plus the building I work in is super cute.

HAPPINESS!

It's all Jenny's fault, really...

Yep, I am blaming it on you Jenny! You are the one who taught me how to "blog" and now I will inflict my skewed and nonsensical web ravings on the Internet masses! Or on the two people who might love me enough to pretend to read this. Whichever.

I fancy myself a non-conformist but a better term for me would be that I am a "slow-conformist". Just ask all the people who listened to me say for years (literally years) that I would never read the Harry Potter Series or any of the Twilight Saga (Saga? Really? The Lord of the Rings is a Saga... moving on). Those folks were especially annoyed by my belated enthusiasm for Harry and company as well as with my in depth plot analysis in regard to Bella and Edward. Renesmee is the worst name EVER!

So, here I am, late in the game. Ready to blog. I wonder if I will have anything interesting to blog about? I sure hope so!