Friday, July 23, 2010

I Never Thought I Would Say This But...

I MISS TUCSON!

Well, I miss my family and friends. And real Mexican food. And by "real" I mean from El Molinitos or Guadalajara Grill. Or Annie's frijoles and tortillas.

But mostly I miss my family. So I am very, very, VERY thrilled to be going to see them soon. I am going to make Mariah hang out with me constantly. Like, she will go wherever I go. Even if she doesn't want to. It's not kidnapping if you are the Auntie.

Friday, July 16, 2010

I'm Not Normal!

You have to imagine Rachel Dratch (from SNL) sitting in a tree, pretending to be Elizabeth Taylor with another comedian pretending to be Michael Jackson for the full hilarity of this blog's title to hit you. Or you have to be Jackie, who was watching that episode too.

I am a weird person. I have always known that I was "unique" and "quirky" but, I am ready to face it, I am just plain WEIRD. I am not saying it's a negative. It just is what it is. And it is odd.

*I like weird books and I read WAY more than is probably considered "healthy." And by weird I mean serial killer/murder mystery/crazy witch/vampire/scary stuff. I love it. I started reading Stephen King when I was 8. I'm a freak.

*I would rather be really cold than have to deal with being the slightest bit warm.

*I am happy to stare at bodies of water for hours.

*I wish I could be a mermaid - I am not kidding.

*I am terrified of being in a plane crash, I HATE taking off but I love having a window seat so I can stare at the clouds and the land below while I am way up high.

*I believe that I will be a published author someday despite the fact that I have yet to complete even one of the 30+ manuscripts I have on file.

*I am 27 and I am not married or anywhere near it and, gasp, I don't care. This is normal for most 27 year olds but for my specific "culture" it is pretty much old maid/spinster territory. Especially the not caring part. I used to care but now, eh, I tried the settling thing. It's not for me.

*I have a hobby that can best be described as Name Collecting. I collect names. I write them down over and over. I don't know why or where it came from but I have ALWAYS loved names. I named all of my Barbies and all of my stuffed animals. Sometimes more than once. I have some really abnormal names picked out for my kids. And I will not put them down because I don't want them to be stolen. I like to be different, can't you tell?

*I know that my eyes are technically hazel but I still call them green.

*I am short and I don't want to be tall. I am pale and I don't want to be tan. I like my glasses and think I might never get contacts or Lasik. I do want to lose weight, I am not one of those happy to be chunky people, but other than that I quite enjoy my visible otherness.

*I read Tolstoy and Us Weekly because I like seeing that being beautiful and rich doesn't make you normal! Maybe when I am beautiful and rich my weirdness will fit in better!

What makes you weird? Come on, throw me a bone people! I know you only have one or two peccadilloes (good for you!) but you can share at least one of them with your freak friend Jen, can't you?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ode to the Villians...

Villians are what make the heroes so great. Without a truly notable villian you just have an arrogant do-gooder. Harry Potter minus Voldemort? Whiney teenager! Othello minus Iago? Paranoid schizophrenic! Right? I don't quite know what happened in my childhood to skew my sympathies toward the baddies so but, hey, someone has to be in their corner, right? My favorite villians are...

Iago (OTHELLO)
Tom Riddle/Voldermort (HARRY POTTER SERIES)
The Pale Man (PAN'S LABYRINTH)
Capitan (PAN'S LABYRINTH)
Jarett (LABYRINTH)
Tom Ridley (THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY)
Sue Sylvester (GLEE)
The Phantom (THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA)
Annie Wilkes (MISERY)
Willoughby (SENSE AND SENSIBILITY)
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (STAR WARS - if Star Wars had been written well)
Hades (HERCULES)
Frollo (THE HUNCHMACK OF NOTRE DAME)
Javert (LES MISERABLES)
Scar (THE LION KING)
Tybalt, King of Cats (ROMEO AND JULIET)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Host...

It pains me to admit this. It really and truly does. But I just reread The Host and I must admit that I love it. LOVE IT. It is a book that I know I will reread again and again. It is hard for my to comprehend that the same person that wrote the Twilight books could write such a poignant and heart wrenching story that is basically about what it means to be human and what it is to struggle as a soul that is inextricably linked to a physical body. It is so amazing and the Twilight books are so stupid. Entertaining but dumb.

Stephenie Meyer tends to be fairly long winded and at points she is a little too repetitive but she has a gift for creating characters that have compelling and complex relationships. It is these relationships that serve as the momentum for her stories. Her plots tend to be anti-climactic and/or somewhat lacking but they aren't really the point when it comes to reading her books. She has a way of writing the with heartbreaking precision that pain and the pleasure of love and hate. As someone who is LDS I can also see a lot of religious themes in her writing and, while she is not on par with him, she definitely has a touch of the C.S. Lewis ability to both celebrate the spiritual without beating us over the head with it.

I guess this means I no longer hate Stephenie Meyer. As a matter of fact I rather admire her persistence in expanding technically and creatively. After the success of the Twilight series she could have easily just gone on to write whatever cheesy drivel she came up with. And people would have gobbled it up. Instead she took a decidedly sharp turn and challenged herself to do better. And she succeeded. As a writer myself I find that to be severely respectable.

She still needs help with the names though. Renesmee? Wanda? Wanderer I can deal with but Wanda? Eh. I guess I shouldn't complain. One of my main characters is named Enzo. But that is a cool weird name. Oh and her cousin's name is Aloha. Whatever... it's not up to me. Their names are their names.