I Never Thought I Would Say This But...

I MISS TUCSON!

Well, I miss my family and friends. And real Mexican food. And by "real" I mean from El Molinitos or Guadalajara Grill. Or Annie's frijoles and tortillas.

But mostly I miss my family. So I am very, very, VERY thrilled to be going to see them soon. I am going to make Mariah hang out with me constantly. Like, she will go wherever I go. Even if she doesn't want to. It's not kidnapping if you are the Auntie.

I'm Not Normal!

You have to imagine Rachel Dratch (from SNL) sitting in a tree, pretending to be Elizabeth Taylor with another comedian pretending to be Michael Jackson for the full hilarity of this blog's title to hit you. Or you have to be Jackie, who was watching that episode too.

I am a weird person. I have always known that I was "unique" and "quirky" but, I am ready to face it, I am just plain WEIRD. I am not saying it's a negative. It just is what it is. And it is odd.

*I like weird books and I read WAY more than is probably considered "healthy." And by weird I mean serial killer/murder mystery/crazy witch/vampire/scary stuff. I love it. I started reading Stephen King when I was 8. I'm a freak.

*I would rather be really cold than have to deal with being the slightest bit warm.

*I am happy to stare at bodies of water for hours.

*I wish I could be a mermaid - I am not kidding.

*I am terrified of being in a plane crash, I HATE taking off but I love having a window seat so I can stare at the clouds and the land below while I am way up high.

*I believe that I will be a published author someday despite the fact that I have yet to complete even one of the 30+ manuscripts I have on file.

*I am 27 and I am not married or anywhere near it and, gasp, I don't care. This is normal for most 27 year olds but for my specific "culture" it is pretty much old maid/spinster territory. Especially the not caring part. I used to care but now, eh, I tried the settling thing. It's not for me.

*I have a hobby that can best be described as Name Collecting. I collect names. I write them down over and over. I don't know why or where it came from but I have ALWAYS loved names. I named all of my Barbies and all of my stuffed animals. Sometimes more than once. I have some really abnormal names picked out for my kids. And I will not put them down because I don't want them to be stolen. I like to be different, can't you tell?

*I know that my eyes are technically hazel but I still call them green.

*I am short and I don't want to be tall. I am pale and I don't want to be tan. I like my glasses and think I might never get contacts or Lasik. I do want to lose weight, I am not one of those happy to be chunky people, but other than that I quite enjoy my visible otherness.

*I read Tolstoy and Us Weekly because I like seeing that being beautiful and rich doesn't make you normal! Maybe when I am beautiful and rich my weirdness will fit in better!

What makes you weird? Come on, throw me a bone people! I know you only have one or two peccadilloes (good for you!) but you can share at least one of them with your freak friend Jen, can't you?

Ode to the Villians...

Villians are what make the heroes so great. Without a truly notable villian you just have an arrogant do-gooder. Harry Potter minus Voldemort? Whiney teenager! Othello minus Iago? Paranoid schizophrenic! Right? I don't quite know what happened in my childhood to skew my sympathies toward the baddies so but, hey, someone has to be in their corner, right? My favorite villians are...

Iago (OTHELLO)
Tom Riddle/Voldermort (HARRY POTTER SERIES)

The Pale Man (PAN'S LABYRINTH)

Capitan (PAN'S LABYRINTH)

Jarett (LABYRINTH)
Tom Ridley (THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY)
Sue Sylvester (GLEE)
The Phantom (THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA)
Annie Wilkes (MISERY)
Willoughby (SENSE AND SENSIBILITY)
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (STAR WARS - if Star Wars had been written well)
Hades (HERCULES)
Frollo (THE HUNCHMACK OF NOTRE DAME)
Javert (LES MISERABLES)
Scar (THE LION KING)
Tybalt, King of Cats (ROMEO AND JULIET)

The Host...

It pains me to admit this. It really and truly does. But I just reread The Host and I must admit that I love it. LOVE IT. It is a book that I know I will reread again and again. It is hard for my to comprehend that the same person that wrote the Twilight books could write such a poignant and heart wrenching story that is basically about what it means to be human and what it is to struggle as a soul that is inextricably linked to a physical body. It is so amazing and the Twilight books are so stupid. Entertaining but dumb.

Stephenie Meyer tends to be fairly long winded and at points she is a little too repetitive but she has a gift for creating characters that have compelling and complex relationships. It is these relationships that serve as the momentum for her stories. Her plots tend to be anti-climactic and/or somewhat lacking but they aren't really the point when it comes to reading her books. She has a way of writing the with heartbreaking precision that pain and the pleasure of love and hate. As someone who is LDS I can also see a lot of religious themes in her writing and, while she is not on par with him, she definitely has a touch of the C.S. Lewis ability to both celebrate the spiritual without beating us over the head with it.

I guess this means I no longer hate Stephenie Meyer. As a matter of fact I rather admire her persistence in expanding technically and creatively. After the success of the Twilight series she could have easily just gone on to write whatever cheesy drivel she came up with. And people would have gobbled it up. Instead she took a decidedly sharp turn and challenged herself to do better. And she succeeded. As a writer myself I find that to be severely respectable.

She still needs help with the names though. Renesmee? Wanda? Wanderer I can deal with but Wanda? Eh. I guess I shouldn't complain. One of my main characters is named Enzo. But that is a cool weird name. Oh and her cousin's name is Aloha. Whatever... it's not up to me. Their names are their names.

Superman is SO Strong.

The title of this post is a direct quote from Ben Gotzinger. From six or seven years ago but, still, he totally said it. And he said it while we (we being whoever was at the Gotzinger's house at the time... I only remember Ben and Jay but I am sure there were plenty more people) were watching an episode of Smallville. I have only ever accidentally watched Smallville. Twice. And each time I did not care even a tiny but about the show BUT something hilariously funny occurred and I remember both instances of hilarity fondly. One was Ben saying completely sincerely, "Superman is so strong." when Clark Kent ripped a door off of a car. It still makes me laugh. The next time Jackie and I dropped by Adam's and he was watching (Adam was always making us watch the WB) and Jackie said, "Quadriplegics should never be scared!" I won't go into it but, trust, it was also hilarious.

That is my really, really, REALLY long winded way of saying... I don't care for Smallville. I netflixed two discs from season three because Ian Somerhalder is pretty. Leave me alone! Anyway, I was watching them and I just don't care about Tom Welling. I like a lot of the other characters. The guy who plays Lex Luther is a good amount of someday-evil and the guy who plays Lionel Luther is just creepy. Jonathan Taylor Thomas split into two JTT's in the first episode I watched. That was trippy. But you just can't care about a show when you don't like the hero.

I love Dollhouse though. That show is freaking fantastic.

To the Parents Nye

I just finished reading a pretty amazing story called If I Stay by Gayle Forman. It is about a girl who has to decide whether to live or die after a terrible accident kills her parents and brother and puts her in a coma. Naturally this lead to me thinking about my own family. There are times in the story when she is describing her little brother who is ten years younger than her. This lead to me thinking about Jeremy who is fifteen years younger than I am and who is part my baby as much as he is part my sibling. Any of you older ones should understand this. I miss him a lot. I miss everyone a lot but Jeremy is my little spider-monkey, my baby forever. It's true. Just ask him, "How long will you be Jen's baby?" and his answer will be, "Forever." I have trained him well.

But this is supposed to be about Norm and Kathy. I love my parents. I love their generous and kind hearts. I love that they love me for who I am even when who I am doesn't make much sense to them. I love that they are protective and defiant in the face of my illness and in the face of those that disbelieve in my illness. I love their flaws because they have taught me that being lovable and good doesn't mean you are perfect it just means you keep trying.

I love that they love each other ferociously. I have been very spoiled by my exposure to their relationship and I know I will never fall victim to settling because I have seen true love. I love that they gave me so many best friends in the guise of siblings and that through all of our crazy and unique personalities we have formed a strong web of love and tolerance that has shaped us for the outside world but that also shelters us from it.

Okay... I can't stop crying so I think this will be the end. I love you, Mom and Dad.

I Want Love...

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

Sometimes you need Elton John to sing it for you...