One hundred, 2009!

Yeah... I was getting off the phone with Chris one day and instead of saying "good-bye" he said "one hundred" and it made me laugh so now that is how I say good-bye.

So, 2009 was a roller-coaster year for me. I'd say it held the most growth for me since I left high school. This is not impressive, rather, it is sad because I have been stagnant for 10 years. Ridiculous!

I am glad to report that I am not stagnant now and I am much happier for the forward motion! I am happy, although cold, up here in the land of the Mormons. I love being with Steph and Justin and the babies. Sadie is especially cuddly and roley-poley. Caleb is hilarious and genius and exactly what an almost three year-old boy should be!

I love my ward. I was terrified of it and thought the best I could hope for was to not want to cry every Sunday but I have been blessed beyond my own hopes to be in an awesome ward with great people! I have already decided that when I move out of Steph and Justin's house I am going to do my best to stay in the boundaries of my ward.

I HAVE A JOB!!! This is especially thrilling since illness and such has kept me from working since I left Washington. Money is delightful. Having something to do everyday and to help you not feel like a bum is even better. I am extremely grateful for the specific job I have because I get to use my writing skills and I actually enjoy going to work everyday. I had heard people talk about liking their jobs but I figured they were just lying to themselves to keep their minds afloat. For the first time in my life I don't feel like I am just biding my time until something better happens.

All in all, I am very glad for the lessons I have learned this year and for the blessings I have received even though I am not in any way deserving. The biggest thing I have come to KNOW is that our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. He is on our side. If we do what is asked of us and we listen to His guidance we will be led to the things we need but also the things we want, so long as the things we want don't conflict with His law. Now that I have this job, this CAREER, that I love I can see how the "No's" I received and lamented were just small disappointments that led to greater happiness. It's hard but it's worth it.

Okay... now for those pesky resolutions I set about to accomplish this past year;

I failed.

But not miserably. I didn't write in my journal every night but I am pretty sure that I missed less than three weeks worth of entries. That is huge for me! I was in the habit of writing every other month. It helped that, at least toward the end of the year, I actually had a life to write about.

As for my 100 books... I made it to 81. I was on track to make it to 100 but I stopped reading constantly once I got up to Utah. I am still proud of 81 books. That is not a small number! I had originally planned to put the entire list of what I read online but I don't care enough. I will put down a short list of what I recommend though.

RECOMMENDED

Why Do I Love These People? by Po Bronson
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (all 13)
Harry Potter
Impossible by Nancy Werlin
The Wild Things by Dave Eggers
Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman
The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
The Host by Stephenie Meyer - I am reluctant to add this one. But I couldn't put it down.

Okay, I can't think of any more right now and I am too lazy to go and look at my list. If you are weird and want the full list let me know. You may notice that there are quite a few Young Adult novels on the list above. I have never been a fan of youth lit but I fell in love with the Lemony Snicket's books and decided that I should try out some of the other well regarded series of stories. I love a good series. The saddest feeling in the world is when a story you love is over. I'd like to thank Lemony and J.K. for prolonging my happiness!

Yes, I gave in and read the Twilight series. I will not refer to it as a saga. Anyway, it wasn't the best writing ever and the plot has holes and some ludicrous demands on the readers imaginations, but the characters were compelling and I found myself reading with fervor. This opened my eyes to another idea of what constitutes "good" literature. I decided then and there to stop worrying about writing something high-brow and layered with subtext and to just write a story that I wouldn't want to put down.

This was one of the top two life-changing epiphanies I had this year. I know that sounds melodramatic but get over it! Once I gave up my idea of what a worthy novel would be I found myself falling in love with the writing process all over again. Growing up messes with your mind. Following rules is important but it's just as necessary to be able to differentiate the rules from the noise. Once I gave up comparing myself to Nabokov and Tolstoy and Salinger and Hemingway I was pleasantly thrilled by the silence in my head. Now I am writing a story that I wish someone else had already written just so I could see how it all turns out already! It's an amazing feeling and I know that, whether or not it ever gets published or read by anyone else, I will love it and be proud of it.

I am so happy and grateful and blessed. I want to thank EVERYONE for all the support and kindness and love and forgiveness you have shown me. I am forever in your debt and will never forget the love I have been shown.

As for 2010, who knows what it will hold! Here are my resolutions;

1. Complete the first novel
2. Get my endowment
3. Go on dates... this is something I do not enjoy so it will be tough.
4. Learn fractions and decimals (pathetic, right? I suck at math)
5. Go on a real vacation to somewhere NEW

I don't know what else to resolve at this point. I think those are good for now. We shall see.